Creativity from a 5 year old

Lately Stan and I have been very impressed with the creativity that Chasadya has exibited, and it seems to not come from either of us.  We know that she loves to color, and draw, and in fact, seems to be thrilled to spend hours on crafts.  If it weren't for the mess that results, I would be a lot more excited for her to do it, but I have relaxed on that over the last while.  What has helped in this regard was cleaning out and sorting her craft box.  I threw out a lot of odds and ends that made things a mess, and was able to find a way of organizing things to my satisfaction, so although the box looks depleted, it has been good for everyone.

One of the things she's been incredibly creative about is taking foam stickers, the kind that come in shapes and letters, and making people out of them.  She arranges things to make faces, pants, dresses, legs and arms.  When she ran out of shapes, she started to cut up the letters to make the proper shapes necessary.  It occupies hours of her time.  I now have need to buy more to restock. 

The other thing she's done this week is write a story.  She found a notebook and decided that she wanted to write her own story.  As she doesn't know how to read or write words, we worked on it together.  She told me the sentence, I would tell her the letters that she needed to write, and she would write them down.  She doesn't have the spacing in the words yet, but she would often be able to sound out the letters needed to make a word.  Her story made sense, consisted of four sentences, and was very well put together.  We are so very proud of her.  We don't know where this creativity comes from, as Stan and I don't feel we have the same talents, but feel that we want to encourage her in both aspects of "art". 

A Dancer, A Gymnast

Its been so intriguing to Stan and I this summer to watch the differences in our children become more obvious.  Of course we know they are different, but when one copies the other a lot, its harder to see.  But this summer, we've taken note of it as it seems to happen more often.  Chasadya seems to be much more artistic, always wanting to color, draw, do crafts, or read.  She loves music, and last spring we enrolled her in dance classes, which included ballet and tap.  She loved it, and she's enrolled for the full year coming up.  She loves to put on her ballet clothes and slippers and dance around the house.  Stan recently brought home a plastic ballet bar from a co-worker, and she loves to stand there, practicing on one leg with pointed toes.  She often sings to herself, as she is right now as I'm typing this.  We feel like she's definitely going to be our creative, artistic child. 

Mikaela has done a lot of these things as well, as a copycat to her sister.  However, she gets bored of coloring long before her sister, and will dance with her sister, but it seems to be something she does because her sister is.  Invariably, while Chasadya is coloring, Mikaela is playing barbies, or more recently with the Polly Pockets given to the girls by their auntie.  She can sit for hours playing with the little dolls.  She also talks and sings while she plays, but again, it seems a learned behavior from her sister.  She does a high pitched voice when she plays that gets a bit annoying, but to her makes perfect sense.  Along with these noticeable differences comes the most obvious.

  She loves to climb on things.  And not just furniture, but play equipment.  In our backyard we have an old metal swing set, the kind with the seesaw swing, as well as a two-person bench swing.  It also has two sling-style swings.  Although some of the ideas of what to do on it came from her older cousin, Mikaela has learned that there is a lot more to the swing set than swinging.  Its actually a bit frightening.  She climbs onto the arms of the bench swing, grabs hold of the top support bar, and lifts her feet off the swing.  She then proceeds to do a number of different things.  Sometimes she just lets the swing go back and forth, putting her feet on the other side, other times we've caught her with her feet on the top bar beside her hands, with her head hanging upside down.  The first time I saw this I almost had a fit.  But she is completely comfortable.  She then often goes from one end of the swing set to the other, climbing on the other support bars.  We have come to the conclusion that rather than put her into dance like her sister, that she should probably be in gymnastics.  We desire to see our children doing things they enjoy, and do well at.  It would be easy to put Mikaela in the same things as her sister, because its simpler.  But we're thankful that God has given us two very different children, and that we have had opportunity to see this summer some of those differences.

Proverbs 22:6 says " Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."  Rather than seeing that as a promise that if I teach my child everything about God when she is young that she will not rebel( very nice thought, but not sure that's what God guarantees), we think that the verse means to teach them in their "bend".  Meaning, find out what their gifts are that God has given them, rather than impose on them our own ideals or dreams.  To let them explore their God-given talents.  I know I'm not saying it as clearly as I would like, but basically, what I think is that we can't pour all our children into the same mold and expect it to turn out perfectly.  They each have their own path, and its our duty as parents to find out what that is. 

Once again last night we saw the differences in our girls.  Chasadya started to dance for her daddy in the living room.  She twirled and twirled.  Soon Stan pointed out Mikaela.  She was standing on top of her wooden rocking horse with no hands, rocking back and forth.  We laughed together.  We most definitely  have both a dancer and a gymnast. 

Pool crazy

A while back I talked about how the girls, especially Chasadya seemed to not be as comfortable in our pool as we thought she would be.  As I glanced back at that post, I realized that I need to update things, as it has changed a lot.  Because of the beautiful weather we've had this summer, we have been in the pool a lot.  Almost every afternoon that we are home we have spent at least an hour in it.  And that has dramatically changed how our girls play in it.  We've gone from being cautious, and careful to dunking, and floating like crazy.  Just the other night as Stan and I watched the girls, we said that our pool has done for our girls what several years of swimming lessons would have taken, and its only been one summer.  Chasadya has no problem dunking her head now, and can hold often hold it for at least three seconds.  She can float, with water wings, on her back and front, and allows us to throw her into the water and be submerged.  Mikaela is also putting her face in the water, and has relaxed enough to float by herself in a star shape( with a puddle jumper-kind of a cross between a life jacket and water wings) and constantly floats around while being pulled.  We recently bought another pool, as our other sprang a leak, and as we considered the cost, we realized that everything they teach in swimming lessons at $100 a session, we've been able to do for our kids for half that.  Once they need to learn more skills that a 2 foot pool can't offer, we'll put them back, but for now, when all they learn is to be comfortable in the water, we've achieved it at home.  The cost of the pool is minor when we see the pleasure and comfort the girls have had this summer.  Definitely worth the purchase. 
The other thing worth mentioning is that it has been something me and the girls have done together.  Often I don't take as much time to play with them as I should, but the pool has brought that out for us.  I seldom will sit out while they are swimming, so it is something that brings about great quality time for us.  Its been special for both me and the girls.

"I can't do it"," yes, you can"

Lately we've been trying to teach Mikaela  that most times when she doesn't think she can do something, that she actually can.  Specifically, that she can go to the bathroom by herself without any help, and that she can pedal her trike by herself even when she's tired.  Often she tells us "I can't do it"  and our response has been "yes, you can".  Its become obvious to me that we have been saying it a lot, when I hear Chasadya from the other room tell her sister "you can do it, yes, you can".  Not having boys, I'm not completely sure if I'm right on this, but I believe that is Bob the Builder's motto.  "Can we do this?  Yes we can".  Kind of funny hearing it from my kids now, but I guess the words have been repeated enough.  Hopefully it sinks in.

Days of Sadness here, Gladness in Heaven

WARNING: MAY BE GRAPHIC TO SOME READERS
If you are on facebook you may have seen that we have had some sad days here lately.  My sister, who was two months ahead of me in her pregnancy has had a lot of stuff going on.  She had weeks of spotting, but doctors could not find anything too concerning.  She also lost some amniotic fluid, which again, seemed to have no reason behind it.  About a week ago her bleeding intensified a lot.  On Tuesday cramping also started.  Wednesday evening she gave birth to a little girl in her car en route to the hospital at 24 weeks.  Her husband then broke the sac, and gave CPR until the ambulances arrived.  Traumatic, to say the least.  Baby did not survive.  Obviously very difficult experience for them.  The sadness that I feel can not be measured.  She is my sister, and we were sharing a very special experience, and it is very difficult to be so far away from her right now.  So many thoughts go through my mind, one of which was that we were going to take pictures of our bellies about a month ago, but decided that we would wait until we were further along.  Now we don't have the chance.  And I will be a reminder to her every time she sees me of what she has lost, as well as my child when that time comes.  What once was a special thing will now be a sad thing. 
I think that it has also made me feel again what a blessin our children are. Although we've grieved the inability to get pregnant, Stan and I have never had a miscarriage or lost a child.  I'm thankful that we have not had that sort of grief.  As I go to the memorial for my little niece, I'm reminded of the other babies Stan's and my families have lost.  Noah, my brother's boy who died at birth, and 3 others we don't know, 2 lost by Stan's brother and sister-in-law and 1 lost by Stan's sister and her husband.
But I also know that what is sadness here, is gladness in heaven.  Although I don't know exactly how it is there, and probably not theoligically accurate,  I like to think that my grandma is holding  Miriam, and her cousin Noah is nearby.  And given the difficulties that she would have likely faced here, with brain damage and any number of other things, I think that once the grief can pass, we will see the blessing in it.  I think that God knows what we can bear, and as hard as this is for my sister, I think God knew she may not be able to handle what could have been. 

Camp, here we come

So after much deliberation, many doubts, and finally peace, we have decided to head to our church's camp for a week.  We feel like we've been out of the camp scene since we were dating, and now I guess we're getting back in.  It was a difficult decision for us, probably mostly for selfish reasons, although there were a few legitimate concerns as well.   Its hard to give up a week of holidays to volunteer when we have many other things we could be doing with our girls. But no matter what we do, I need to remember that we're building memories for them, and really, if we can get them used to camp already, then it should be easier when they are older to go.  They'll know what to expect, and hopefully be excited about going.  As it is right now, they are excited.  They both don't know what's in store, but Chasadya's best friend is also going to be there with her parents, so I think it will be great on that front.  In fact, Stan and I don't know what to expect either.  We have never been to this camp, and although we met at a camp, to me this is very different.  The camp I attended growing up, and later counselling at didn't have a lake, but rather a pool.  It had a fabulous horsemanship program, which is where I learned to ride, as well as archery, crafts, sports,and a few other "skills".  We would be able to choose 4 for the week, and would get to do these each once a day.  As far as I know, there is a very different set up at this camp.  There are not that many campers to begin with(less than 50) and it sounds like they all do the same thing at the same time(I may be wrong about that, but that's how it sounded).  So what are we doing?  Stan is going to drive boat for water sports during the swim time, and we are both going to do sports together.  Not sure if this is my forte, but its something that needs to be done, and we want to be available.  So over the next few days, we'll be brainstorming for ideas on group games.  There are a few relay possibilities, as well as the classic "Capture the Flag" or "Prisoner's Base", but we also need to have a few rain day possibilities.  Any suggestions, let me know.
Although there is a little apprehension over this experience, mostly fear of the unknown, I also feel like we finally made the decision that God wanted us to make.  Why else did we never feel completely settled every time we said no?  Why did it keep coming up?  Why else were Stan's holidays at the right time?  I think it was because God knew we should be going.  Not only for the campers, the staff, and ourselves, but also for our girls.  We may not be able to go again for a few years, as we'll have a 6 month old next year, but if we don't go this year, when everything has worked out so well, when will we?  I've been told that the relationships built, the entire experience, is something that we will not regret doing.  If I can get past the packing, I just might end up agreeing with them.  But before we go to camp, we have a week with the girls doing the things that we planned to do over 2 weeks, which includes shopping(!) and of course the place where the train goes round and round. 

Water challenges

After a summer of no yard, we are completely enjoying having one this year.  We have grass, a sandbox, and our pool.  Thanks to God, we have had the weather to enjoy all of that.  Its been interesting to watch my girls become more and more comfortable with the water.  Two years ago, when we had the pool set up, we watched Mikaela learn to walk in the water.  She of course lost her balance, but the resistance of the water helped her realize that she could do it, and it didn't take long after that she was walking outside of the pool.  This year, the first little while of being in the pool was quite uncomfortable for them(it was pretty cold to start- now its so warm Stan does not find it refreshing-28 degrees), but aside from the temperature, they just didn't feel that comfortable.  I would have thought that we take them swimming enough to a big pool that it wouldn't be a big deal, but it seemed like this was different enough.  Our pool is only 2 feet deep, so they can very easily walk and run around in it.  Last week Chasadya had a pool party for her birthday, and I was amazed at how one of her friends had no fear of the water and repeatedly put her head under and all sorts.  She was wearing water wings for that reason.  But I couldn't help but think, wow, why doesn't Chasadya feel that comfortable.  But I realize that each child is different, and does things at their own pace. However, I think that seeing her friend be so at ease has helped her a bit this week.  Actually, both girls have become so much more comfortable this week, that I've been surprised.  It really helps that we are in the pool every day, yesterday three times.  And although Mikaela gets a bit worked up about her face going in the water, Chasadya has realized that she can stand up, and its no big deal.  She's working on blowing bubbles under water for 3 seconds, and although she's not there yet, I have no doubt that she will be by the end of the summer. 
I'm just thankful for the weather, but also that I can be at home with my girls to see them grow and push themselves.  Some of the memories we make now will last their lifetime, and I'm so privileged to be able to be such a part of it. 

Sisters, Sisters

Sisters are sisters, no matter the age.  Two days ago, I travelled 2 hours to get together with my sister to get my maternity clothes back from her.  We have always shared maternity clothes, and probably because I got pregnant first 5 and a half years ago, most of the clothes that have gone back and forth have been mine.  Although when she was pregnant and I wasn't, she gave me a bunch of her other clothes for 9 months.  When my sister called a few months ago to tell me she was pregnant, it was extremely difficult for me to pack up the maternity clothes to give to her, as I had hoped to be the next one to wear them, and it had already been two years of waiting.  But in faith that I would need them before she was done with them, I marked my initial on every piece that was mine and handed them over again.  When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I would need the clothes back, but it leaves her in a bit of a bind, as most of them are mine.  On Sunday, it was exciting to see her and compare bellies, and make the exchange.  She is two months ahead of me, so I let her keep the larger things.  But what intrigued me today was that although we are many miles apart, we are sharing a common experience, and its fun to be able to help each other out with the cost of maternity clothes, although this time we'll be a little more on our own.
  However, maternity clothes are not the only thing that goes back and forth.  She has a daughter who is between my girls in age.  Right from the beginning we have also sent girls clothes back and forth.  Once Chasadya is done with them, I send them to her, and when her daughter is done with them, they come back for Mikaela.  She has since had a boy, and I'm curious what will happen this time around when our babies will be so close in age.  Neither of us know yet what we're having.  This clothing exchange we've done has been so helpful to both of us.  Although I need to buy everything for Chasadya, my sister still buys stuff for her daughter, so when that comes here, I feel like Mikaela has new stuff too, because Chasadya has never worn it.  It helps with the cost as well.  We're coming to a bit harder time as they become more and more the same size, and we've long given up on shoes, as Chasadya has extremely small feet.  She is wearing the same size as my niece, and in fact she and Mikaela wear the same shoes from time to time.
   This morning my girls decided to wear each others clothes.  Of course they don't fit properly, but they were both excited to go to the other's drawer to pick something out.  I didn't realize that this desire to raid another's closet started at such a young age!  But I can only hope and pray that this will be something that can continue for many years to come, and they can experience the blessings of a sister like I have, no matter the distance between them. 

God's Perfect Timing

So I'll blame my lack of posting on the crazy tiredness I'm experiencing, but I'm going to try to get back into it.  We've been talking prayer at Bible study the last while, and last week we discussed unanswered prayer.  As we discussed God saying not yet to some of our prayer requests, I started to think of what that's been like in our life.  (Side note: we've also talked about our 'Plan A' and God's 'Plan B' in Sunday school and how his plan is better, although we don't always see it at the time.)  So if God had answered our prayers right away for a child, and we never had to wait with any of them, we would have an eight year old instead of a 5 year old.  In fact, we would probably have four children, all two years apart, and be done.  We had very close friends get pregnant the first month they tried and found out that we started trying the same month.  At the time we thought it would be so neat if it would happen right away for us too, but instead their second child, and our first are only a month apart.  They do in fact have four children, and their life looks very different from ours.  As I pondered this, and looked at things, I realized how different our life would look, and I just became immensely grateful for God's timing.
  We would have had two children when we changed churches years ago(to be going somewhere closer to where we lived).  This would have meant friendships with different people.  I would have missed out on the ones I do have.  I have never in my life felt so blessed by the people in my life.  I have an amazing set of friends.  We bonded years ago, and us women get together on a weekly basis to talk and pray with each other.  I can share anything with these women, and I know that they feel the same.  I would have missed out on this blessing.  I can't imagine that.  This closeness will make it very difficult when one of these close friends moves to Kentucky for her husband to attend seminary this summer. 
Another thing that wouldn't have happened is for Chasadya to have her closest friend live on our street.  In God's timing, we struggled with infertility at the same time as friends of ours.  While God answered our prayer sooner than theirs, they were able to adopt a little girl whose birthday is exactly a month later than Chasadya's.  And as things turned out, they moved onto the same street as us.  Who knows if that friendship will continue throughout school, but its nice to know one of the girls she will start kindergarten with, and in fact,  her mom and I are taking turns bringing the girls to school.  Who but God could have orchestrated two infertile couples having girls the same age, living on the same street, who were born on opposite sides of the world. 
And as we look at another child coming into our home, we see another picture of God's perfect timing.  Mikaela has been a bit more of a tricky child to figure out, and has always been a bit more of a "Mommy's girl"  She needs cuddle time after her nap, she's more strong-willed, and tests boundaries more.  With the timing of things, Chasadya will have half a year of school, in which we can establish a routine, and get used to the whole idea of her being gone every morning.  And I will have half a year to have one on one time with Mikaela, to spend just with her, before the new baby comes.  I'm excited about that.  I think it will be good for her to have that time with me, because it will definitely be harder for her to accept a baby into our midst than it will Chasadya.  One of the reasons for that is that she has always been the "baby" and because she's so much about mommy, it will take her time to get used to sharing me.  We pray that it will go smoothly.  But I'm so thankful that I don't have to figure out school and a new baby all at the same time.  God knows how much I can handle, and I don't think I would have handled that well. 
I challenge you to look back and see what God's done in your life.  Where has His timing, His plan been way better than anything you could have picked for yourself?  It may not be easy, in fact, its so much easier to see it in the past, but it would be neat to see it even in the midst of what you're going through.  I also encourage you, that although its hard when prayers seem to go unanswered, that there may just need to be a little more time, and the answer will be so much better for us than we anticipate.  I look back now at the many journeys God's taken us on, and I'm very glad for His timing.

Shifting Perspective

Its been very difficult for me to change my whole mindset in regards to eating and weight loss now that I'm pregnant.  I hadn't realized how much I kept track of it and how many habits(good at the time), I had formed.  This last week I really let myself go with the busyness of the garage sale, and it bothered me a lot.  I ate out often, suppers were not healthy, evening snacking was normal, and exercise didn't happen.  Now I know that I shouldn't be trying to lose weight now, but I do want to be healthy.  And I know that if I can continue to exercise throughout my pregnancy and not gain crazy amounts, that it will be much easier to bounce back later.  So I need to work on changing my whole thought pattern.  Before I was careful with what I ate and diligent in my exercising, and in the month that I got pregnant I lost 5 pounds.  Significant for me.  And it felt really great to see the numbers moving down.  So my goal this week is to get exercising again, and to eat healthy.  If I continue my workouts like before, I need to make sure that I eat enough calories to even it out.  I've looked it up online and found that I don't need very many more calories now than I did before, I just need to make sure I'm taking in the full amount and not trying to stay under a certain number.  I'm also cutting way back on caffeine and increasing my calcium.  I'm not sure whether that will help at all, as my parathyroid messes that all up, and surgery is now postponed till after the baby, but it is something baby needs, so hopefully my body will be able to process some of the extra and give it to baby. 
We were about to go to a natural health clinic about our infertility when we found out we were already pregnant.  But one of the things we knew we would probably need to do if we pursued that was change our eating habits completely, giving up pretty much all sugars and forms it takes, flour and anything processed.  It would have been very difficult, but we would have done it.  Now that we got pregnant without needing to do that, I've thought that maybe its not a bad idea to give up some of it anyway, at least to a certain extent.  'Cause hey, if its supposed to help someone to get pregnant, than likely it would be great for the baby after too.  Just some thoughts, and a bit of a pep talk to myself to get it together this week and not just go the easy route.  But to be fair to myself, I wasn't home last week a whole lot, and the first trimester tiredness has certainly kicked in, so when I was home, I really didn't feel like putting a whole lot of effort into a decent supper.  All this to say that although I am not going to focus on losing weight now, I do still want to be healthy and give this baby the best I can, so I'm upping my game this week and getting back into the healthy mentality.  Its just a shift in perspective now that I'm supporting another life and its not just me. 

One plus One Equals 5

I may need to update my photo soon as it will soon be a misrepresentation.  And why would that be?  Well, I don't look quite as slim as my photo suggests, as I've been eating a little more lately.  However, that isn't the only reason my stomach has been showing a difference.  Yeah, you guessed it.  WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!  Our family will soon be one person bigger.  No, we didn't know when we changed the girls rooms around.  And we were just about to go to a natural health clinic to see what they would recommend.  God's timing is great, looking at it from this side of it.  Its incredibly difficult to go through it  and we question everything, including timing, but its so easy to see the good now.  I'll have half a year of Chasadya in kindergarten, so we'll be able to get all the kinks worked out.  I'll also have half a year of her being in school to spend with Mikaela, which I think will be a really good thing for her.  Our baby is due beginning of January, and so that's going to be different as I've never had a winter baby before.  It still feels a bit unreal that after waiting almost 2 years for news like this, that its actually happening, but my body is very quickly making it real, as I'm already not able to hide it.  I look like I did at 3 months along with Chasadya, and I'm only 6 weeks.  Seeing as my sister has all my maternity clothes(she's 2 months ahead of me), I'm quickly running out of options in the wardrobe department, and I was hoping to get through a bit of the summer with my old clothes.  That seems increasingly unlikely, which I suppose is normal for a third pregnancy.  It is the reason that we are making it known to the general public, not just family and close friends, already.  Now that garage sale stuff is done, I'll be posting more often again, and I intend to share a bit about the girls reactions and so on.  For now, though, I need to get my girls out of the tub and dressed for bed.  

Garage Sale Madness

So, those that follow this blog will have noticed I haven't been writing for a while.  One of the reasons for this is garage sale season, and more specifically, the one my friends and I have been working on together.  My friend and her family are moving this summer to attend seminary in Kentucky, so she needed to put on a garage  sale, and instead of doing one separately at my house, I, and a few other friends, decided to  combine our efforts and have it all at one time.  However, we didn't realize what we were getting into, as more and more stuff arrived and the garage got fuller and fuller.  Now to be fair, its not all our stuff, as we received many donations, but I alone filled our van and car with boxes and bags, plus two truck fulls of furniture.  That has meant many hours spent at her house getting ready this week.  Four of us spent a morning there last week and this week its been a bit more sporadic with everyone else, but I have been there every day, all day, except for 2 hours on Monday, and this afternoon.  I actually only spent one day on pricing my stuff, and the rest of the time helping my friend price and organize.  Needless to say, its been a long week, and we still have tomorrow to sell and clean up.  Through it all, my kids have been amazing.  I've tried not to have them there with me all day, but they have been there for part of the day every day.  That's why we are at home this afternoon.  They and I needed a bit of time at home.  The laundry has piled up, and meals this week have been atrocious, and sometimes you just need some time at home.  We've also been freezing these last few days.  The mitts we were going to sell, we took off the table and wore them instead.  Three layers of sweaters had us considering the winter jackets on our rack.  Certainly not the weather we expected for middle of May.  However, although the weather may have meant less sales as people weren't anxious to stand and browse like they may have otherwise, we have been pleased with the results.  Hopefully it will cover the cost of my last garage sale/shopping trip! 

Changes

Friday night the girls decided that they would have a "sleep-over" together in Chasadya's room for the first time.  Although we've talked about it before, we've never actually done it.  There is a bunk bed in there for the purpose of having them in the same room, we had just thought that it would be once we needed the other room for a baby.  Anyways, we decided to let them give it a go, and since they both had a nap that afternoon, we knew it would be a while before they were ready to sleep, but it was a Friday, and it seemed like a good night to try it out, so we went for it.  We didn't worry about them talking as we figured eventually they would fall asleep, so Stan and I went downstairs to watch a movie.  At some point they did (we don't actually know how long it took), so we took it as a success.  The next morning we thought that maybe we should move Mikaela in permanently, and make the other room into a play room.  For me, this was a bit of a stretch, because as I said, it was supposed to be a baby's room, but when we moved here a year ago, we never dreamed that it would still not be converted into that.  It feels like maybe by doing this, I'm maybe coming to accept that things don't work out like we planned.  It feels like my baby is growing up now that she is moved out of her toddler bed into a big bed. 

It actually went quite well until Mikaela saw us moving her toddler bed out of her room.  "MY BED" she says, in a very concerned voice.  The rest of the day she was quite emotional, and needed me a lot.  But we knew what was causing it, which helps to be more understanding.  And by now, she seems just fine.  Its amazing what just a little bit of time will do.  It wasn't that long ago(only a couple weeks), that we had a hard time getting them to sleep in the hotel room together, and now we are having them sleep in the same room night after night.  Its also a little easier to relax about it at home, and just let them talk a while before sleeping.  We know that eventually they'll get used to it, and if they are tired the next day because they were up too late, then it will mean a grouchy day, but we can deal with that.  Chasadya  has been glad to have a new place for quiet time and has claimed the desk in the playroom as hers, filling all the drawers with coloring things. 

It feels like we've entered a new phase here with the girls growing up.  And although they fight like all children do, we also see that they are amazing friends too, and we hope that these years that they share a room will help build a friendship that lasts a lifetime. 

'Children can not live on pasta alone'

If our children could choose what to eat every day, we wouldn't have to guess what it would be.  Noodles and Parmesan cheese would be the choice du jour.  We don't know why this seemingly bland selection has so much appeal, as it certainly wasn't anything we encouraged.  We always make sure that they eat some of what we eating along with it, such as meat sauce, or some other pasta sauce, and although there is some complaining about this rule, it doesn't take them long to finish it so they can have plain pasta with Parmesan.  And for Mikaela it doesn't stop there.  She does the same with rice.  She enjoys stir fry, but as soon as the required amount is eaten, she continues with just rice. And Chasadya uses just sour cream as her dip of choice for nachos.  As well, if there's anything that could have sour cream on it, she would do it.  Perogies or potatoes with sour cream is almost as high on the list as noodles.  Tonight I thought I had made enough pasta for both supper and a pasta salad for a gathering tomorrow, but my girls just kept right on going until there was only about a quarter of the amount I needed for the pasta salad left.  Now I will admit to feeling a bit concerned about how this overindulgence will affect their digestive systems(can you say plugged up?), but at the same time, we feel that if they've eaten a decent amount of other food, and that's what they want to fill up on instead of some other dessert, well,  have at it.  After dishing up the umpteenth serving to both girls Stan and I just shake our heads. This is one thing we can say they don't come by honestly. 

Progressive Supper a Success

When I was asked to host a course of a progressive supper that our youth were doing, I must admit to a slight amount of trepidation.  Regardless, I said yes, and agreed to do the appetizers.  For those who don't know what a progressive supper is, it is a 5 course meal, done throughout the evening, but each course is at a different person's house.  There were four different groups going from place to place, and the aim of the game is that they won't get there meal in any particular order.  So some groups start with dessert, while others start with main course and so on.  I've discovered that although I love having people over, its a stretch for me to have people over that I don't know, or who have never been to our house.  And typically I want a tidy and clean place to give a good impression.  Thus my trepidation.

I was therefore pleasantly surprised with myself  that I agreed to do this as it stretches me a little with my comfort zones.  But as I was preparing yesterday and today, I was quite excited.  And when each group came I realized that it was quite fun.  Not only to provide the food, but to actually see who the youth in our church are and to talk a little with them. And we also heard from the youth that they were enjoying not only the food, but also having some people from the congregation they don't know take an interest in them.  It was truly a neat experience all around.  Over the course of the evening I served 3 different appetizers to approximately 20 people.  And a note of interest was how much less the last groups ate compared to the first!  They are, after all, stretching their meal over 3 hours, and at many of them eating as much as a typical meal. 

For the girls the highlight was having their babysitter come in one of the groups.  They waited anxiously all evening for when she would come, and we let them stay up later than normal, because as it was, she was in the last group.  But for them, well worth the wait.  In fact it was great for them to see so many different people here, and after the initial shyness passed they definitely enjoyed it as much as everyone else.  So first time hosting the youth for progressive supper is deemed a success.!

Mennonite? Me?

During a friendly game of Dutch Blitz this weekend I endured a bit of family teasing when I was talking about the fact that here where I live, Pepsi is the drink of choice, not Coke.  To add to that, I apparently also said it in a very Mennonite way.  That brought about a discussion of the grammar that I use on this blog, which is, according to them, also Mennonite.  So it then becomes an interesting thought to me, about how we adapt to our surroundings.  Being in the heart of Mennonite territory, surrounded by those who speak low German, have I started to like what everyone else likes, sound like everyone else sounds?  Maybe so, but now that I'm back on this side, not yont szeed(?), I say, 'here's to all who love Pepsi and to all that live where my Mennonite "accent" is no longer an accent, but just how everyone talks.'  And although I love my family dearly, I'm not sure that I can ever drink another Coke without feeling as though I'm betraying my new roots.  So I sound Mennonite?  I'm okay with that.  After all, I am!

It feels like SPRING!

Finally it feels like spring here.  Its taken a while, but we're starting to enjoy the outdoors more(actually the girls enjoy it year round, but there's been a definite increase of late).  Yesterday we took the girls to the playground for the first time this spring and I told Stan that I haven't started buying the necessary 'Spitz' that we take with us on such occasions.  But with the feel of spring comes talk and about our yard, which we want to get done as soon as possible.  I'm dreaming of summer already and having grass, and our pool up, and suntanning on the deck.  It feels like a lot of work before that, but every time we are at someones house that has grass, our girls are tearing around, and it makes me excited to be able to have them do that at home, instead of having them playing on dirt(or mud).  So come  summer you can probably find me out in the back yard or deck, because now its become a priority to get it done.  But for today, we'll enjoy the decent temperature and be taking the kids for a bike ride and another stop at the playground, sans seeds. 

Frustrated

I am so frustrated with myself.  This week I was doing so good with what I was eating, and I felt good, and the scale was looking pretty good.  So why do I always ruin it for myself?  I keep track of what I eat and how much I exercise on a program, so it calculates everything out in terms of calories earned by exercise and subtracts calories consumed.  I do this because I was at a plateau and needed to step things up a bit.  Exercise is no big deal for me.  Its just a part of my day and I've been doing really well since October, mostly on the elliptical, but some other stuff at times.  30 minutes a day is no problem.  The difficulty is in eating good.  Thus, the challenge, and the new program, which I've been doing about a month.  But invariably after a few good days of eating healthy, I blow it with a pig out meal, usually at some fast food restaurant.  And I know that as I order, I'm going to regret my decision, but I give in anyway.  So today I went for my first run outside this year, and didn't do nearly as well as I had hoped, but I still did 2.5 miles in 22 minutes.  Not bad.  The scale was finally back down where I wanted it to be after a couple weeks of being slightly elevated.  And what  do I do?  I consume over 1000 calories on a meal at DQ.  That's almost a whole days worth in one meal.  I read in a weight loss magazine "you ate it, negate it".  So I think it calls for a bit more workout today, probably  a bike ride with the kids in the trailer.  Obsessive?  Maybe.  But I don't want to lose the momentum I've had this week, so for today that means a bit more exercise, and a low calorie supper.  The  thing with knowing how many calories I consume, is that I also know what I need to do in order to see results.  I can no longer plead ignorance saying" I don't know why I'm not losing weight- I exercise all the time."  Its been a good thing for me to see how my decisions in what I eat have such an impact on the big picture.  So yes, today I disappointed myself, but its not too late to do something about it.

Blessings

So often I lose track of the many blessings right in front of me, while I wait, impatiently, for God to give me more.  It's sad but true.  Lately a prayer of mine has to been to have joy, regardless of the circumstances I face.  Its a good reminder to me that there is so much in my life to be joyful about, so many blessings.  When people hear that we're dealing with infertility again, the response I often get is "but you have two beautiful girls already".  Of course that is true, and I feel incredibly blessed to have them.  To see them play together so well, to see them take immense pleasure and security they have with each other is amazing.  But there is just something in me that desires to expand our family.  To be round with pregnancy, feeling a child I haven't met yet, but love completely, move and kick inside me.  To wait with bated breath for that first cry and glimpse of God's most amazing of creations.  Yesterday we watched a Full House episode with the girls where Jesse and Becky's twins were born.  I glanced over at Stan afterwards  and he was misty eyed( he's embarrassed about how easily that happens), and all I could think of was, how much more special to see him get that way when its our child he sees for the first time. I want to see the girls excitement when they meet their new brother or sister, because its become a family thing- that we're waiting for another baby.  The greatest calling for me is to be a mom.  The greatest blessing for me is my children.  My prayer is that I won't miss out on the ones right in front of me, while I wait for the ones to come.  I want to live in the moment, enjoying each day with my girls, because sooner than we know they're grown.  We're approaching Mikaela's third birthday, and perhaps that's what makes it feel a little more difficult right now.  My "baby" is gone, and we never planned for there not to be another by now.  I can't say that its easy putting aside my desires and what I think should happen, for God's perfect plan.  I don't see the big picture.  I only see right here and now.  And maybe that means that for today I see the beautiful children entrusted to me, I give them an extra hug, and I spend a little more time just enjoying what my life is right now.

Spoke to soon

Not long after my last post, I was thinking that I should have waited a bit, as the girl I thought handled the week okay, maybe didn't after all.  For no apparent reason, shortly before lunch today Chasadya had a melt down.  I couldn't make out what was the problem, and it lasted till after nap time.  As I thought about it, I realized that maybe she just takes longer to react to the busyness and stress than Mikaela.  Its so interesting to see how the girls are so completely different in so many ways.  This week is just prime example of that.  Mikaela acts out during the craziness, and Chasadya takes a few days to decompress.  The next week is going to be a lot less busy, which is obvious we all need. 

A lesson about busyness

Its been a crazy busy week for me and thus for the girls.  Its interesting how that affects the girls.  Just a rundown so you know what it was like here this week: starting last Friday and Saturday we were gone over night to the States, getting back late Saturday night.  Sunday we were at church, but chose to spend the rest of the day at home.  Monday morning we went to S  for chiropracter appmts and in the afternoon I was supposed to have a meeting with someone here in B, and decided it was beautiful enough to bike.  I was home that evening, but Stan was not.  Tuesday, the girls and I went to visit friends, and ended up staying in town into the afternoon.  I headed out in the evening.  Wednesday, my birthday I spent at home, but kept very busy cleaning house for Bible Study that night.  The girls went down the street for a play date, which allowed me to wash the floors without their "help".  The girls wanted to go to Grandma and Grandpa's for a sleepover rather than stay here while we had Bible Study, so I quickly dropped them off before everyone came for potluck supper.  Thursday I picked the girls up and headed to prayer group in the morning.  After that I dropped them off at another friend's place and headed into the city for an appointment, as well as squeezing in a bit of shopping.  The appointment went late, so I rushed back to get the girls, bring them home, and almost immediately leave for band practice.  Friday, back to town for another chiropracter appointment, and a bit of gorcery shopping.  The girls were home the entire day.  Stan had company in the evening.  Today the girls and I are home all day, but Stan is gone to a seminar.  And tomarrow we have the band coming for lunch, which I am not preparing, but  still need to tidy a bit for.  So Stan and I have seen very little of each other, and the girls were doing something almost every day.  Did we notice an affect on them.  YES! Especially Mikaela.  We noticed that she cried very easily, with the sipmlest of things, and had a harder time obeying(although that is also just age and a phase, we hope).  On Friday when she was home all day with Stan and then me in the afternoon, she was much more relaxed.  In fact, she woke up happy from her nap, which is rare.  And today I have a happy girl.  Chasadya seems to do much better with the busyness, but she always has.  A lesson learned, but sometimes there's just no helping it.  I am really enjoying the time at home myself, and that leads to a happier household.  After all, 'If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy'!

Today I'm a hero

The weather is gorgeous today, and so I let my girls play out on the deck with no jackets on.  Chasadya wanted to play with a ball, and chose a beach ball.  Knowing the likelihood of it going over the edge into the unfinished, muddy yard, I issued a warning that she be careful, as I didn't want to retrieve it for her.  We didn't finish the deck last fall, as we are wanting to put in sod this spring, so we have it completely closed off with no stairs.  I wasn't very surprised when she came in to tell me that it had gone over the side, but being in no mood to get muddy, I figured it could stay there a while.  A short time later, the girls came in again and said they couldn't see it under the deck anywhere.  I looked up and saw it quite a distance away in the pasture behind our house.  Realizing that it was on its way to being lost forever, I told the girls I would get it after all.  So I donned on my rubber boots, crawled through the fence, and waded through the mud in the pasture, saying hi to one of my neighbors outside.  The girls watched me  the whole time, and when they saw the ball in my hands, started cheering for me.  Although slightly embarrassed, it was neat to hear that I had done an amazing thing.  Although it doesn't take much effort to rescue a lost ball, to them I was a hero.

Security "Blankets"

So we went away for the night for my birthday, which we all enjoyed(well, Stan not so much all the shopping!).  But its always interesting putting the girls to bed in the same room, and here we were, trying to get them to sleep in the same bed yet.  Chasadya was not excited about this prospect at all, but we told her that the other option was to sleep on the floor, which she didn't want to do of course.  At first we tried to get them to sleep at the same time, with me lying between them and that was definately not working.  So Stan took Mikaela to the other bed, with our plan to move her once they were both asleep.  Chasadya cuddled right into me and was asleep within minutes.  I then moved to the other bed to cuddle Mikaela and encourage her to sleep.  She had been quite active, moving about, but when I came she also just curled right into me, and again, within minutes was asleep.  While I was holding Mikaela I realized how much of a difference it made for me to be there with them. A new room, a new bed, and a new experience were not a big deal with me there.  It seemed significant to me how easily they relaxed and were able to fall asleep once I was there to give them security.  What an awesome thing to have two little girls receive so much security and comfort just by me being there. 

Birthday Surprise

A few days ago my husband gave me quite the surprise.  He told me that for my birthday he was taking me and the girls to the States for a bit of time away and shopping.  I thought he was joking.  Now, in order to understand this, you need to know our relationship a bit.  In our marriage, he is a saver, and I would say quite frugal.  He has a very hard time spending money, and has a hard time when I do.  I, on the other hand, am the spender.  And maybe more specifically, an emotional spender.   If I have a hard day, or feel stressed(including our finances), I like to spend.  Now I know that there is more to it than that, and believe me, God is trying to work on that in me, but that's the simple layout.  Now Stan appreciates that what I buy often makes our life more comfortable, and the girls and I do need new clothes now and then, but it's still difficult for him, and I admit that often I am not careful and have a very hard time staying in budget. So because of all this history, it is incredibly special to me that he is doing this.  So, not only does this mean an afternoon of shopping, but it also means a night at a hotel, and several meals out.  Not a cheap surprise.  But man, am I loving it.  Today I made a list of things I'll be looking at buying.  Of course the shopping is one of the best things for me, but Chasadya is very excited about the hotel and pool.  Its really neat to see her excitement.  I don't think Stan realized how much we'll all enjoy this( well, maybe he won't enjoy the shopping so much!).  I'm feeling incredibly loved right now.  I hope I can make him see how much this means to me.  He hit the nail on the head in realizing my love languages, and I so much appreciate how he decided to do this, especially when its not an easy thing for him to do.  I'm looking forward to a great family weekend. 

Priceless

My kids make me smile so much.  As I type this, my oldest daughter, Chasadya, who's almost 5, is in her room for quiet time, coloring and singing a made up song to God.  She is so creative.  And the things that come out in her singing are things we have taught her.  Like, "You don't like it when we're bad, You like it when we're good, I love you my God, You are my only God".  It just makes my heart smile, to hear her sing about things that she notices.  Its like her thoughts just come out in a song.  And there's no censoring done either.  There's somthing so incredibly innocent and special about it all. 
    Earlier today, Mikaela, my almost 3 year old, also made me chuckle.  She came upstairs while the rest of us were downstairs, and decided to help herself to snack.  I could hear her moving things around a bit, but didn't come to investigate until I heard things spill.  Thinking she had got into some M&Ms, I rushed up to see what mess she was making.  Sure enough, she had got into a snack, but not what I thought.  She had pushed a chair or stool to the pantry, climbed up and got the container of chocolate chips out, filled a small bowl full and was on her downstairs, when she spilled them.  When I got up here she says to me "too much, I have too much"! I agreed with her and helped her put some back into the container, which at first she did willingly, but her idea of too much and my idea of too much were not quite the same! 
   Just a few things today that make me smile.

First Attempt

Well, not sure how to do all this, as its my first try at anything like it, but it looks like a neat way to journal a bit, and maybe write a bit about my life and the life of my kids.  I see it as a tool of charting their growth and development, and a way to lock in some of the incredible things that go on in our lives.  I also am not really doing this so much for others, but for me to have a place to "vent" or put down on "paper" where things are at for me.  Not sure how this will relate to my prayer journaling that I do, whether its just an expansion of that, but I'll kind of have to see what this all becomes.  I have a friend who has an amazing blog, and I'm always intrigued to read it.  But I really don't have a clue as to how to go about getting something like that together.  I'm hoping my computer savvy husband may be able to help me with a bit of that.  For now,  plain is how it goes.  Okay, so the preview actually looks good, but definitely some other stuff needed yet.